August 16

Are you sabotaging your own relationships?


Are you sabotaging your own relationships?

Are you sabotaging your own relationships? Self-sabotage is so common in relationships… maybe you know what I’m talking about. Some people are so used to living in isolation that when they find happiness with another person, they unconsciously create situations that will cause drama and disrupt the positive connection. They are unable to cope with a feeling of happiness for too long, and instead create emotional upheaval in the relationship because personal discomfort feels normal for them.

Another common scenario that plays out is when one partner is feeling disconnected from the other… and they lack the self-love required to keep the connection going positively. Then, feeling like they are losing the relationship, they create drama in order to pull their lover back into connection through shared negativity. Instead of pleasure, they seek to keep the connection going through shared confusion and pain.

Does this sound familiar to you, either in yourself or one of your (ex) partners?

Carl Jung is the modern champion of the idea that each man has an inner female side (anima) and each woman has an inner masculine side (animus). Often, the way we relate to the opposite sex is simply a projection of our relationship with this inner self. If the relationship with the inner self is damaged, it plays out in life and relationships in the outer world as well.

What can be done about it? That’s more than can be covered in one instagram post, but let’s just say, bringing love and compassion to that inner-feminine or inner-masculine is a start. Even having awareness of this concept is a great first step, as it is often sitting in your shadow, outside your own consciousness (but often plain for others to see). A Jung quote to ponder and get you thinking:

“When an inner situation is not made conscious. it appears outside as fate”

– Carl Jung

The stuff that is left unexamined will manifest as unconscious patterns and “fate”. Or said another way: you’re going to keep facing the same shit until you examine and deal with it.

I hope this resonates… and you take the time to ask yourself: Are you sabotaging your own relationships? If you decide to take the next step and need some help, you can reach out to me for a free call here.

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About the Author

Brett is a Coach, Tantrika, Daka, and Sacred Sexual Healing Practitioner. He has studied with the International School of Temple Arts, and with various Tantra schools around the world.

Born and raised in Australia, Brett has spent more than five years traveling the world, learning from the best of the best in Tantra, Shamanism and kink worlds. As part of this experience, he has also been studying and experimenting with different forms of relationships such as polyamory.

The deep realisations and growth he had during this period made him leave his old life as a programmer and dedicate his life to helping others remove the guilt and shame around their sexuality and empower themselves to live the life they dream.

Brett has helped dozens of people around the world with his one-on-one coaching programs, body-work and sexual healing sessions, and many more through teaching workshops and live-streamed online events on topics like Tantra, BDSM and Sexuality.


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