Foreplay is a delicate art, and you’re probably doing it wrong. What even is it really? For many people, it’s simply all the stuff you do in bed with your partner before the P in V (or other variation) “main event” happens. If your partner has a responsive arousal pattern, as most women do, you’ve already waited too long by the time you’re in bed with her. Sure, you might have sex, but it’s unlikely to be mind blowing, ego dissolving and soul merging type that we really crave (although there’s a lot more than to being a great lover than just foreplay).

True foreplay starts long before the bedroom. It can even start before you meet your partner. Foreplay is the flirty and suggestive texts you send her while she’s still at work. Foreplay is the audio message where you use your tonality and… pacing… to convey how much you are looking forward to seeing her (and perhaps, exactly what you plan to do with her).

You might even make some requests of them… ask her to wear something in particular for you. That dress that makes you want to tear it off her. That scent that makes you want to eat her alive. Remember that your partner wants to feel sexy, and desired. Give her that gift and her desire for you will start building before you even meet.

On a date with her, you can be flirty and suggestive right there. Use your eye contact and presence to show her how much you desire her. Lean over and talk low and slow in her ear… tell her what you’re thinking about doing with her.

Remember that the whole body is an erogenous zone, and the biggest sex organ we have is our brain. The right words, the right look, can be as powerful or more powerful than a touch. And the right touch… a little nibble… a kiss… on the side of her neck, or running your nails lightly down her arm can be more stimulating than going straight down town.

Foreplay is not just stimulating the genitals to be ready for penetration. Foreplay is stimulating the mind and the entire body to prepare it for the beautiful and delicious acts to follow.