November 29

What is real love?


What is real love?

What is real love? Love, in my view, is just this: supporting, contributing and celebrating to the evolution and growth of the one(s) you love⁣. This is quite different from some expressions of “love” we know from our lives and pop culture⁣⁣.

Is it love when we want to possess another person, to control them, manipulate them, and make sure they don’t have any feelings of love for anyone but us?⁣⁣

What I’m saying here about love is scary, and it’s not easy… Why? If love is wanting the other to grow and expand, that means that our personal experience of real love, the part we have control over, is one-directional. It’s only flowing outward to the other⁣.

And it means that if you are lucky, you might have the experience of someone else’s love flowing towards you… but that’s totally outside of your control.

We cannot expect that just because we love someone, they have any obligation to love us back. To love is to give your energy to others… and we need to be discerning with where we choose to give it.

We cannot afford to be naive. There are people out there who will be like parasites on our love… Like blackholes of drama. Giving your energy to them is like pouring water into a bucket with no bottom⁣⁣.

The reasons someone is like that are not necessarily malicious or intentional. We all have wounds and damage that cause us to act in ways detrimental to ourselves and others sometimes.

The responsibility is on YOU for where you choose to direct your energy.

If you really love someone, that also means you may need to let them go.

Imagine your beloved gets a dream job overseas, but you are unable or unwilling to go with them. You could try to convince your sweetheart to stay, but is that going to help them expand?

Or imagine they meet someone who you KNOW, through their relating, will help them reach new levels of their evolution. If you stand in the way of it, is it serving them?

Real love is scary, it’s stepping into the unknown every single day, without ever knowing what we will get back.

What to do then, close our hearts?

Fuck that. Love courageously, feel the fear and do it anyway.

The unknown is a blank canvas on which to draw your dreams and desires. Love is the paint that will make it a reality.

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About the Author

Brett is a Coach, Tantrika, Daka, and Sacred Sexual Healing Practitioner. He has studied with the International School of Temple Arts, and with various Tantra schools around the world.

Born and raised in Australia, Brett has spent more than five years traveling the world, learning from the best of the best in Tantra, Shamanism and kink worlds. As part of this experience, he has also been studying and experimenting with different forms of relationships such as polyamory.

The deep realisations and growth he had during this period made him leave his old life as a programmer and dedicate his life to helping others remove the guilt and shame around their sexuality and empower themselves to live the life they dream.

Brett has helped dozens of people around the world with his one-on-one coaching programs, body-work and sexual healing sessions, and many more through teaching workshops and live-streamed online events on topics like Tantra, BDSM and Sexuality.


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