December 24

Ever wonder why she seems disappointed after great sex?


Ever wonder why she seems disappointed after great sex?

Ever wonder why she seems disappointed after great sex? You feel like she’s wanting something more, but you don’t know what.

Men: take as much care with leaving as you do with entering.

Ask yourself this: what does it mean to be penetrated?

For a woman, being penetrated can be an experience of life, fullness, and surrender… but also massive vulnerability. They are allowing another being’s energy and life force to enter their body. Her body is a temple, and you are entering that temple.

Penetration is an experience of being entered, and this can be on a physical level, an emotional level, or an energetic level. Often, it’s all three. This is a vulnerable place to be and requires a lot of trust.

Most men do not have this experience. We are usually the ones who penetrate. And so, we don’t understand what it’s like for a woman to experience this.

Sure, it can be a light and fun experience with someone they trust. But the experience can also be heavy and emotional.

Many men have figured out that they need to take it a bit slower with starting… building things up before just entering (even if you think you’ve got this handled, go read Foreplay is a delicate art, and you’re probably doing it wrong.). But very few take the same care when leaving.

Almost every woman I’ve spoken to has experiences like this: when the man is done, he just kind of “checks out”. He withdraws, not only physically, but emotionally and energetically. One minute he is there with her and the next his presence is completely gone. This can leave the woman feeling empty… and even discarded.

Recognise that for women, it’s a very vulnerable state to be in. And while it’s not your job to stay there forever, you can leave gracefully, with respect and honour to the being you just shared an intense connection with.

Imagine you are a pilgrim who is visiting and praying at a holy shrine, in a sacred temple. You approach with devotion, and you leave with reverence. You don’t just get up and walk out. (Sidebar: in many spiritual traditions, the woman’s yoni is seen as a literal temple and the source of all life)

Take your time, and even when you leave physically, stay with her. Hold her in loving presence while the intensity of the experience slows down and subsides.

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About the Author

Brett is a Coach, Tantrika, Daka, and Sacred Sexual Healing Practitioner. He has studied with the International School of Temple Arts, and with various Tantra schools around the world.

Born and raised in Australia, Brett has spent more than five years traveling the world, learning from the best of the best in Tantra, Shamanism and kink worlds. As part of this experience, he has also been studying and experimenting with different forms of relationships such as polyamory.

The deep realisations and growth he had during this period made him leave his old life as a programmer and dedicate his life to helping others remove the guilt and shame around their sexuality and empower themselves to live the life they dream.

Brett has helped dozens of people around the world with his one-on-one coaching programs, body-work and sexual healing sessions, and many more through teaching workshops and live-streamed online events on topics like Tantra, BDSM and Sexuality.


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